The Beryls are back at it again showcasing the talent and huge energy that performers Patrick Dwyer and Laura Trenerry command on stage.
—Milk Bar Mag
The writing is brilliant, the show is sharp, unpredictable, edgy and highly entertaining.
—Weekend Notes

WINNER, Adelaide Fringe Pick of the Week Award 2023


A high drama character comedy and a love letter to community theatre.

Broke, unemployed and rejected by the beauty pageant world for reasons they legally can’t disclose; ageing starlet, Victoria Beauvoir and her desperate sidekick Roger Seahorse have reluctantly returned to their hometown of Schlumpsville.

Roger has found new inspiration. He’s written a play, and Victoria is to be the leading lady. They must now cast the remaining 72 roles.

Can they prove their worth to the humble people of Schlumpsville?

Featuring guest comedians as auditionees – this off chain theatre fever dream will leave you crying with laughter.


The Beryls in collaboration with The Travelling Sisters present Cattle Call at Malthouse as part of Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Comedy Festival at Malthouse is supported by our Season Partner, Scotchmans Hill.


Laura Trenerry & Patrick Dwyer (The Beryls), with surprise guests.

Event & ticketing details

Performance Times

TUE – SAT / 7.45pm
SUN / 6.45pm


PREVIEW $28.00 - THU 30 MAR
FULL $35.00 - (WED – SUN ONLY)
MOB $10.00
GROUPS (4+) $28.00

All online bookings incur a $4 booking fee per transaction.


60 minutes (no interval)

Content notes

This production contains coarse language, and audience participation.

All warnings are subject to change, please check back closer to the time of performance for an updated list of potentially sensitive content

Event notes


Parental guidance recommended.


No flash photography.


Malthouse Theatre is a COVID-Safe venue. Find out what we're doing and how you can help keep everyone safe here

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